Hold My Heart
by trophywife94
Summary: Lynette and Tom try to deal with their relationship after it has been through so many changes lately. Takes place after Season 7's finale; if you haven't watched it yet, it may contain spoilers. One shot, song-fic. Song by: Sara Bareilles


_- I do not own Desperate Housewives - _

_**Note:** Hey guys! So, I haven't written ANYTHING in ages, though I've been desperately wanting to do so for a long time already. Since today is one of my greatest friend's, Adi's, birthday, I decided I have to get some writing done, though. Happy Birthday, hon! So of course, I wrote Tynnie for you. I know Marc Cherry screwed this one up pretty much, but I hope I didn't, haha. It's a song fic, taking place somewhen after the finale of Season 7. So if you haven't watched it yet, this will contain spoilers and you probably shouldn't read it. Concerning the song, when listening to Sara Bareilles' song "Hold My Heart", I immediately thought of Tynnie. osting links somehow doesn't work for me, but I think the song should be on youtube or somewhere.  
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_Anyways, I'll just shut up now and let you read. Feedback and comments, no matter if good or bad, is very welcomed and appreciated. I'm always open for critiques, advice and improvement suggestions._

_I really hope y'all dig it!_

_Oh, btw, the things (next to the song lyrics) written in italics is a short flash-back._

_**"Hold My Heart"**_

"Yes, I do." She still had his voice lingering inside her head, spinning around, over and over again. He had promised her something one day; to hold her hand, to love her no matter what, and to never leave. A promise that was made about 20 years ago, but that she could still recall much more precisely than she could recall what she had for breakfast today. It's funny how much just three little words can mean to one, how they had been barely noticed but still so clear; and how this promise was broken all of a sudden, before she had even realized.

Slowly, she placed the photo she had picked up before down to its original position. It nicely fit back in its place; it's been standing at exactly that spot for a couple of years now. It showed him having his arm wrapped around her, who wore her beautiful, white wedding dress and carried flowers. Both she and Tom were smiling; she could remember this one as one of their happiest days. "What happened?," she quietly breathed as one tear rolled down her cheek. "What happened?" she repeated, more quietly, yet meaningful. Lynette placed her hands right in front of her face, trying to hide it and the tears that had begun to float freely from her face, behind them and the sleeves of her hand-me-down pullover.

_I never meant to be the one to let you down  
>If anything, I thought I saw myself going first<br>I didn't know how to stick around  
>How to see anybody but me be getting hurt<em>

Entering their bedroom, she thought she might find escape in familiar space, but it didn't last long till she found out she wouldn't. Everything reminded her of him, no matter where she turned.

Tiredly letting her bottom sink to the end of their bed, she allowed her body to let go of the tension, uncover the façade she had been keeping ever since he'd left her. Having lain there quietly for one moment, she only now mentioned her fists had been clenched, so she released them and used one of her skinny hands to remove the tears from her face. Not long after, the second hand joined the first one as she realized she couldn't wipe away those tears with a single hand alone. Lynette then let her hands gain distance from her face, regarding them with a blurry sight. When seeing the slurred mascara all over her palms, all of a sudden, a feeling of ridiculousness crept through her veins and gave her a cold shiver. She felt silly crying, blurring her mascara over her face like a 16 year old teenager. It had always been her who was the strong person in their family, the one who had built a wall around her to protect both herself and her family. And now that this family was falling apart, this wall started tumbling down, too.

_I keep remembering the summer night_  
><em>And the conversation breaking up the mood<em>  
><em>I didn't want to tell you you were right<em>  
><em>Like the season changing, oh, I felt it too<em>

There are so many things she wished he would've said, so many things she wished she wouldn't have said. There were so many words unspoken and yet too much had been said. The blonde remembered a time where they didn't even need words to speak; which had completely changed with time, she didn't even notice the change until a few days ago.

How could lacking nothing turn into hurting each other no matter what you do?

#flashback#

"_Then tell me what it is. What makes you feel this way? What makes you think that I do not want the best for our family? I've been working every day since 6 weeks, like 18 hours a day, and I haven't caught more than 2 hours sleep since forever. I've been working my ass off to get extra cash so we all could go on that road trip you were so keen on. I've paid all of the bills, I gave you all of the money you wanted so you could finally go and buy yourself nice things, like really nice things and not the worn out clothes you've been wearing ever since the twins were born, and I had finally found a job I was good at and had fun with. So isn't that all you've ever wanted? And now you tell me that it's wrong, that my work is the reason for us constantly fighting?"_

_Lynette lifted her head and faced Tom, the lump in her throat didn't let her speak immediately, though. She swallowed as tears were facing up in her eyes, nervously fumbling with her fingers on her wedding ring she wore on her left hand._

_Then, there was a silence lasting just a short while, seeming like forever. It weighed on them like stones; they weren't even able to face each other, which killed Lynette inside. She quickly took a desperate breath to end the silence with words; words she didn't even know herself yet, but so urgently needed to say so the seemingly ever-lasting silence, one thing she had never been able to stand and was afraid of, would lay down._

_She didn't get to push that fear away herself though, because Tom had already preempted her. "How can you accuse me of such a thing when _you _were once the one who worked so long that we'd barely see each other, when _you _were the one frankly claiming she preferred work over motherhood, when _you_ were the one literally forcing me back into this job. I don't get it Lynette, seriously. What do you want? There used to be a time I could tell your needs by just looking into your eyes, but what I once saw in your eyes has become nothing. I'm looking, so desperately, but I just can't see. What do you want, what do you need? Tell me! But this time, only when you're sure yourself and not when you find out shortly after that in fact you don't want it this way, either, anyways. Now for one time be honest with me, .?"_

_Letting the last words sound even clearer, with even more emphasize behind them, he made the breath she had been little breathing during this conversation get stuck in her throat, so she was unable to take notice she needed to exhale. She felt scared, not of him but of the future; she felt mad, not so much at him as actually at herself and the situation they were in; and most of all, she felt embarrassed; little because of his confrontation and that he was right, but mostly because of what they had become._

"_You know," she finally exhaled, weary, tired of anything that'd been going on lately. "The only thing I truly want is you." The words finally fell out of her mouth, and with it plenty of tears joining them. Starting to turn to the door, the woman headed outside, rushing through the door and leaving him behind. Tom Scavo now stood inside their bedroom; a room which used to be full of trust, laughter, belief, happiness, and most of all, love. And now he was lingering there, his hands limply hanging beside his body, he had a thousand thoughts, pictures and feelings at right the same time; and yet he was devoid of any emotion._

_#flashback end#_

_Does anybody know how to hold my heart_  
><em>How to hold my heart?<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go too soon<em>

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_  
><em>How to hold my heart<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you<em>

And now there she stood, placing back the pieces that once mirrored them but that had faded away by the speed of light. In former times Tom would've immediately come after her, wrapped his arms around her and told her everything was going to be alright. Not this time; not now, though. They hadn't seen each other ever since she'd escaped out of the house after their struggle; neither had they called; what didn't mean Lynette wouldn't have constantly his face pictured right in front of her, the image's edges blurred by her salty tears.

Just when she was about to drag her heavy feet to the stairs to head upstairs since she'd realized she wouldn't make a step out of the door today anyways, key sounds were resounding in her ears. She spotted herself immediately turning to the door, hoping it would be him. Just before she could turn back to disguise her desperate need to see him, the door already flew open, with him being the center of it. For one second, which felt like years, they just stood there, like paralyzed; looking at each other in shock, in insecurity, in ignorance."Lynnie," he swallowed, tightening the grip around the bags he was holding and taking a step inside, "I.. I didn't know you were here.."

Heading to the kitchen, he placed his purchases on their table. "I was just out running errands. I hope it's okay I brought buns and meat, I thought we all could have Hamburgers tonight." Tom chuckled as he started to unpack the bags determinedly. She carefully watched every move he made; there weren't any words in her head she could possibly say. Even if there were, her throat wouldn't let her voice them anyways. "Tom," she eventually managed to say and removed one of her feet from the stairs to approach him. Taking a deep inhale, Lynette prepared to speak; her husband's words cut hers, though. "I just hope Penny will eat the meat; since she's watched this documentary about vegetarians that included a non-censored clip of animal butchering, she's been devastated." He smiled, he laughed; like in old times, she thought. It took her a short moment to hold on to find out what was really going on, and she knew she couldn't deny it, no matter how bad she wanted to. "Tom," she said again; louder and more determined now. Completely ignoring her appeal, he just continued placing random groceries into the fridge and onto the table. "And even if she won't, I'm sure all of the boys –"

"TOM." Lynette almost screamed when she repeated his name for the third time. Looking up to her, still pretending a smile, he finally stopped talking and recognized a stern expression in his wife's eyes.

"Honey?" He tried to disguise it, as if he didn't know what she wanted from him, but he did. And he could not hide.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" Tom pretended to be bewildered, but when facing her again, he gave up even the last part of hope that he wouldn't have to face it.

"Stop pretending, stop hiding, stop running. You almost act like nothing happened, like everything is fine, just like it was some years ago. But it's not, and you know it. I mean, look at us! The whole time, I've been the one not wanting to realize it. But we just had a huge struggle like 2 days ago, and now you walk in and act like nothing ever happened? It's a lie, and as much as I do not want to do this, we have to. We have to face the truth."

_I'm not the kind to try to tell you lies_  
><em>But the truth is you've been hiding from it too<em>  
><em>I see the end sneaking in behind your eyes<em>  
><em>Saying everything no words could ever do<em>

The next minute they sat there, quietly next to each other on the stairs. "You know," Tom began but then hesitated; after swallowing heavily, he tried to continue. "What you said the other day, that all you want was me.. it's changed something in me, it's hit me pretty hard. And it's true. We've spent so much time figuring out how to implement our next holidays, pay the bills, even what would suit for dinner. And now we're standing here, surrounded by so many things.. so many unimportant things, which have changed our lives. We don't need them, do we? And still, they've let us forget for what we're really here." Slowly turning both his head and his body to face Lynette, his absent gaze became a teary, regretting look.

Just the moment he wanted to speak again, the blonde quickly pressed his lips on his, tasting the salt of his tears, sensing the warmth of his lips. God, how she'd missed this feeling, the feeling of being safe, of forgetting everything around her, as if the world wasn't moving, she thought. As if nothing had happened.

Taking her hand, he led her upstairs. As soon as they entered their bedroom, he turned to her and kissed her tenderly.

_Does anybody know how to hold my heart_  
><em>How to hold my heart?<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go too soon<em>

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_  
><em>How to hold my heart<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you<em>

Having spent the night together, both Tom and Lynette lay in their bed, just like they used to. He had his arm laid around her neck; she wrapped her arms around his chest tightly. They hadn't talked to each other yet, still they knew that the other was already awake. It had been one of the most beautiful nights ever, she thought, she hadn't been that intimate with him in months. They'd forgotten about the situation, the fights, the stress for just one night and just were.

_Is anybody listening?  
>'Cause I'm crying<br>Is anybody listening?_

After about an hour they'd lain there in silence, Tom sighed thoughtfully. "Let's just toss it all. We don't need money, we don't need this job. I don't know how we'll be able to do this, because with everything we say, we seem to hurt each other. But I don't care. Then let's not talk. I love you and I do not, ever want to lose you. I will get another job, I'll walk the moon, I don't care. Just tell me how we can make this right, because I'm willing to do everything to get back what we had. To get 'us' back." She didn't answer, because she didn't know what to say. Lynette felt the same way; she would do everything to safe their relationship and their love. But as well as she knew this, she also knew that it wasn't as easy as it sounded. Even though they'd both tried to deny it, something had changed, they had changed. And no matter how much they hated what they'd become, they wouldn't change back. And neither of them knew whether they could accept the other one that way. But they were going to fight for it, she knew. She just wasn't sure whether they would win the battle.

"Stop talking." Lynette let a weak smile escape from her lips and placed her soft lips right on top of his, both having love on their lips and hope in their hearts.

_Does anybody know how to hold my heart_  
><em>How to hold my heart?<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go too soon<em>

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_  
><em>How to hold my heart<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you<em>

**The End**


End file.
